"The Spine," and subsequent musings

During yet another uniquely enlightening shower this morning, I decided it would be a good idea to start off every post with a list. Not necessarily a top-ten list, not ever in any particular order. Just, you know. A list. Por ejemplo:

Ten Things I Wish I Knew How To Do:

1. Canter on a horse
2. Throw a football
3. Play Texas Hold'em (and enjoy it)
4. Waltz
5. Return library books on time
6. Make my own salad dressing
7. Speak French
8. Do a handstand
9. Play the guitar; play the piano; play any instrument other than the increasingly useless violin
10. Eat very, very spicy foods

I bought my first They Might Be Giants CD today, partly because, rollin' with Jordan and Greg last night, I realized how little music I have/know, at least in comparison. I half thought I had the half-upper hand on Gregdear in terms of music (though that was based almost completely on his math-majorness (majority?)), but it appears I have no upper hand to speak of. I'm not even sure if we have even hands, though I don't think he'd persecute me or condescend, as some people do, for having the lower hand. I'm happy to say all signs point to Greg's being a good enough, a genuine enough, of a guy to ignore how culturally aware or unaware I am.

But what does this say about me?: I'm not sure I believe that. That, maybe because he's relatively quiet (relative to me, that is), I still, after six months, suspect his adorations/affections/compliments/declarations-of-love are exaggerations or even! completely invented for the sake of keeping me in his car. (I mean it's certainly working...) Why can't I trust that he's being honest?

Seriously, I think part of it is because I know he's quiet but a thinker, which, as I see it, would/could give him plenty of time to think one thing and tell me another. But I know it's also because of that stupid ninth grade relationship that we will never speak of, when in the span of one month I received more (and more outrageous) adorations/affections/compliments/declarations-of-love than I've ever gotten in six-- though Greg and I are starting to come close. And then, out of the blue, SURPRISE!, "Let's break up." Which of course says loud and clear: "None of this was real." And that scares me, because I really, really want it to be real this time...